Toxic parents Surviver? You Are not Alone.

This is Aya.
Today I want to speak to anyone who feels lonely, anyone suffering under toxic parents or domestic violence, anyone who feels misunderstood, anyone who does not feel safe where they are right now.
What I want to tell you from my heart is this: you are not alone.

I have never shared this publicly online, not even with friends, but I grew up in an abusive home.

I was cut off from my father’s side of the family. The people who should have been my closest, the ones who should have loved me, did not.
Because of that, I believed I had no place in this world. I thought maybe I was destined to be alone forever, because I believed they were the only ones who could ever be my family.

At school I found no safe space either. I was mocked as if I were an alien. Teachers disliked me because I asked too many questions and pointed out contradictions.
There was nowhere I felt safe. In middle school I cried almost every day, and as a teenager I had more than ten bald spots on my head from stress.

The fact that I survived is almost a miracle.
But how did I survive?
One of the biggest reasons was learning to widen my vision.

To believe in a bigger world. At that time I was just a child. I could not leave home, and there was no social media or smartphone to connect with people outside.
But I held on to a strong belief that if I could step into the wider world, I would find people who loved me, who understood me, who supported me, and I would find an environment where I could shine just as I was.

And now at thirty-one, I know this is true.
The toxic part of my life was only my closest family and a small piece of my hometown community.

Once I expanded my scope, I found people who truly supported me.
For you, it might be a distant relative. It might be someone you meet when you step outside your town, your province, or even your country.

The important truth is this. Being related by blood does not automatically mean they are your ally or the ones who love you.

In my case, those closest to me caused the deepest pain.
But when I looked beyond, I discovered people who valued me.
People who saw me as Aya, and told me I was beautiful just as I am.

So to you who feel lonely right now, I want to tell you this.
You are not alone.
Even if it feels that way now, there are people who will love you, who will support you, who will remind you of your worth.
Somewhere in this world there is a place where you can feel safe, where you can shine, where you can simply be yourself.

Go and find it. Build it for yourself.
And if you can, share your thoughts. Reach out to anyone who comes to mind as a possible supporter. Ask for help. Find companions. Often, the people around them will also be warm and kind.

And remember this as well. Expanding your vision and thinking outside the box, searching for your place in the world, can also break the chain of negativity.
Psychologically, it is common for survivors of toxic parents or domestic violence to unconsciously repeat the same behaviors. My mother was toxic, my grandmother was toxic, and they passed down the pain they received from the generation above them.
But by stepping into the outside world, you can prevent yourself from repeating the same pattern with others, or with your own children in the future.

When I escaped into the wider world and finally met people who understood me, I began to understand my own situation. I learned how to be careful with my words and actions so I would not become like them. I know I have hurt people in the past, and I remember those moments. But I have learned from them, I continue to grow, and I choose to keep improving as a human being.

You should not stay near people who do not love you, who hurt you. You are allowed to walk away. You are allowed to escape. There will always be people who will understand you and love you.

Please do not forget this.
If this video reached you, you are already not alone anymore.
Let’s keep living, together.

From Aya, a survivor of toxic parents who is now living a happy life.